FATHERS IN TOUCH

Fathers In Touch, the cornerstone of Coach Tony Pierce Outreach, Inc., is a program developed to teach men who are fathers how to take an active role in the lives of their children. It is also a program to help men and women who have not had a relationship with their father be reunited with him regardless of age. A great healing takes place when one is able to understand that a dad was not given the proper instruction in the relationship between him and his child. Being able to forgive that father for the pain, suffering and lack of acceptance is truly a miracle.

When a child is left on his or her own, with no guidance or direction, something happens naturally. Negative seeds are planted when no positive direction is given. People are not naturally good; they are naturally drawn to the bad. When there is no guidance to that good, a child will grab out on his or her own and be led by whatever is out there.

For a child, there is much whatever that can take place and lead that child into a life that will be a continual downfall until something steps in and turns that life around. A father's responsibility is to be there and raise that child. There really is only one earthly father that the child has - D-A-D, DAD.

No matter what Dad has done in life, whether he is a success or a so-called "failure," he is irreplaceable, and a good relationship with a father will serve a child well for the rest of his or her life. We are attempting to be the middle man - getting fathers back in touch with their children, and letting them know that dad would have been there to comfort, console, praise and applaud if he had known how.

THE FIVE LANGUAGES OF LOVE

In their book, The Five Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell say that the foundation for this is love. Men must learn how to speak their child's love language. To most men this is an unfamiliar sound. "Love language. Are you kidding?" Yes, that's right. Love.

That is where it all begins. If all fathers had love in their hearts and had examples of how to be dads, we wouldn't be discussing this issue right now. Most men were taught to be tough. Don't cry when you get hit or hurt. Keep your emotions to yourself and don't show them to dad or he will think that you are not from his seed.

This has been ruining men for years. James Dobson in his book, Bringing up Boys says that after the nurturing by the mother there is a time when the boy breaks away from mom and says, "Dad and I are going to the park." "Dad and I are doing this." Dad is where he learns how to be a man. With no dad around, just mom, grandma and sister, the boy grabs his masculinity from thin air. Dad is important to the daughter as well.

REJECTION

Being rejected by a dad can be devastating to a child for the rest of his life, unless healing can take place. The pain of knowing that his father did not want him or does not want to spend time with him can cause a child to form deep seated anger from the hurt that he or she is feeling. Most often, this anger is suppressed until an incident occurs when the pain, bitterness and anger explode like a bomb.

In Dr. Dobson's book, he says that researchers have found that extreme neglect or rejection causes a child's body to produce significant amounts of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline. These chemicals move through to targeted areas of the brain responsible for conscience and compassion. Due to damage done to critical neural pathways, the child's ability to "feel" for others later in life has been masked. Most often in order to hide or make the pain and hurt of rejection disappear, a life of drugs, alcohol abuse, sex and crime usually follow.